Every Day She's Growing Up

This is my school

My place to work and play

My friends and I are living out each day

Washing a table

Polishing a cup

Every day I'm growing up. . .

Most Montessorians probably know this common song by Sanford Jones. I remember one mother telling me in a conference that she got tears in her eyes every time that she heard her son sing this song because she knew that he was, indeed, growing up.

Now it's Thumper's turn to grow up. She's not a toddler anymore. In fact, she is truly 2 1/2 now, officially old enough for a primary program (although I persuaded the head of school where she's at to start her in a primary program just a smidgen before). She is getting more mature and articulate every day, although she still looks as petite as ever. Tonight at dinner she was able to tell her paternal grandmother that she was going to see her maternal grandmother on the train. She tells her older sister off in very specific terms, which is hilarious (sometimes).

I've had to up my game with her, realizing that it is time to choose different books at the library. We're reading a lot of Denise Fleming right now which is my attempt to lure her away from her other growing up choice Olivia Form a Band. Oh my, how many times have a read that book in the last month.

Although I will miss the little toddler that she was, I look forward to the possibilities ahead. I'm very hopeful that she will get into sewing so that Booster and I can really get into the quilting projects that we have in mind. I imagine that next year's gardening will also be a lot more fun for all of us, as Thumper will understand so much more of what is going on.

Onward and upwards, Thumper. The world is your clover patch!

The Grumpy Mommy

Recently I've found myself falling into a grumpy mommy rut. It's very depressing to me because this is certainly not the kind of mother that I want to be. I've been grumpy at the grocery, grumpy at Target, grumpy in the car.

Part of this I am sure is that I am adjusting to new routines and getting less exercise. I do need to find a way to make more exercise happen in my life even if that means that I get up at an unpleasantly early time to make that happen.

Part of it is that there are times when I REALLY want my pre-child level of efficiency back in my life. I just want to pick up a few things at Target. I don't want to be barraged by a half dozen requests, be told that the ice cream I've picked is not the preferred flavor and/or kind, and then have my children fight over who gets to swipe my credit card in line. All I want is to by dishwashing detergent, razor blades and laundry soap.

I just want the logistics of my life to run smoothly. It's hard for me to be relaxed about getting to work on time and the like. I've been getting up at 5:45 in the morning to take care of packing lunches, making breakfast and doing some cleaning. This way, we all can have plenty of time to eat a nice breakfast together and have a somewhat easy, relaxed time getting ready.

As a side benefit, I've actually been enjoying this quiet morning time in spite of the fact that I have more of a princess metabolism. I'd prefer to get up at 9, breakfast at 10, etc. During these early mornings, I feel very productive and organized. Also, it's really the only time that my house is quiet and serene.

My older daughter, however, is determined to thwart my efforts by fighting bedtime, fighting waking up and then procrastinating until the last minute to leave. Now that she's seven, I'm really going to have to get more creative of how to deal with it. When she was four, I would just calmly put all of her clothes in a bag and cart her out to the car. I'm not so sure that technique would work now.

In any case, the grumpy mommy rut is one that I will have to break myself out of with exercise and adjusting my expectations.

What a Difference a Month Makes

The last time I posted to this blog, I was just beginning a new job. Now, I am just beginning a new job. Suffice it to say, that the first job did not go well.

Fortunately, I've been able to swoop into a new job, complete with Montessori spots for both Thumper and Booster. I'm working in a support role this year, so next spring, I'll be back almost to square one as far as looking for a job is concerned. First things first as I always tell Booster. This job solves certain problems, namely getting out of job #1 while still being able to make some money and provide the little ones an opportunity to continue on a Montessori track.

The last month has been full of a multitude of changes, I haven't even had time to process them which is why I've been unable to sit down to write anything here.

I started a job that I had hoped would be my dream job, that would lead to unique opportunities. Instead, I spent a month growing increasingly anxious as I came to the realization that the job was simply not a good fit for me and never would be. Well, that's over now.

Booster started public school. I put money in her lunch account, joined the PTA, went to back to school night, almost bought spirit wear. Well, for now, that's over.

Thumper started a new school for which I spent weeks searching out uniform clothes in her size. She adjusted to the staff, spoke about her classmates at home, and one night, even packed her lunch toddler style and said that she was off to see a little girl in her class right as bedtime rolled around. Well, now, that's over, too.

That's that.

On more upbeat note, I am really delighted that both girls seem to be settling in well to their new school. I seem to be surrounded by competent, relaxed, confident co-workers. I can't help but feel that somehow or another all of this has happened for good reason. I've learned valuable lessons that have given me quite a lot to think about both professionally and personally. Although there are aspects to my current situation that I would change if I could, I do feel like I've ended up in the right place for now.

Poetic Interlude

I'm back to work getting all fired up about how Montessori philosophy and pedagogy can cure all educational and social ills -- and I'm still enjoying my commutes kid-free. This experience of hanging out at bus stops is bringing back memories of such a wonderful time in my life--my two plus years in Taiwan.

Two years with great friends, lots of stimulation and no car. I always learned so much hanging out at bus stops. Most of the Chinese that I can read I learned from street signs. I felt so good when I knew how to read all of my major bus stop names so that I could stop and any bus stop, check out the sign, and know that I could figure out the bus to take me where I needed to go.

Of course, traveling by bus requires a certain amount of patience, a lack of urgency really. If I had to regularly do it with my children I would most likely have to sell my soul for a car because hanging out with a two year old by the side of the road just would not be soothing.

Today I found myself as I once was--reading poetry by the side of a busy road. I have dilapidated copies of Buddhist sutras and Taoist philosophy that I used to carry around in my pockets because I knew that at some point in the day I would find myself with a small chunk of time on my hands.

Those days are past now. I've been traveling around recently listening to Sesame Street's All Platinum Hits. (It's not Emily Dickinson, but those songs are classics.)

So here's my bus stop poem:

Such Different Wants

The board floats on the river.

The board wants nothing

but it pulled from beneath

on into deeper waters.

And the elephant dwelling

on the mountain wants

a trumpet so its dying cry

can be heard by the stars.

The wakeful heron striding

through reeds at dawn wants

the god of sun and moon

to see his long skinny neck.

You must say what you want.

I want to be the man

and I am who will love you

when your hair is white.

Robert Bly

I stepped onto the bus thinking: Do I say what I want? Do I know what I want?

That'll Be Small Fries for Me

So I've been back to work for one week. This is part of two transition weeks. My kids haven't started school yet so we have worked out a patchwork of care options for them--6 days at my husband's workplace childcare center, two days with Montessori Papa, and two days with their grandmother.

As I transition from stay-at-home motherhood to earning-a-paycheck motherhood, from teaching to working more administratively, my kids are transitioning, too. It's a bit confusing right now for them. Where will they be going today? Then when they are totally discombobulated, they both will transition into their respective schools and our "normal" life will begin.

It's an uncomfortable transition. I know that I will miss teaching. I don't have a work station or computer yet (and I'm a bit of a nester). I don't like several aspects of my husband's workplace childcare (I mean really they can't get through the day without TV, gummi bears and computer games? I resort to those things with I need a break. If I'm paying someone to take care of my children, I expect them to be more resourceful.). I'm in that interesting, yet uncomfortable place, where I'm learning all the names and stories of dozens of coworkers. I miss having fun with my kids and the wiggle room that being a SAHM provides. I miss my mommy friends. And yet in all of this, I am enjoying having a bit of space. It's coming out in the weirdest way.

My workplace is near a McDonald's. I'm not a big fan of McDonald's. The food doesn't taste that great going down, for the most part, and it doesn't make me feel fine afterwards either. I try to avoid fast food restaurants on principal. However, I have stopped there for a snack everyday that I have taken the bus to work (which is most days because my husband has been using the car to take the kids to his office). I get some fries to eat on the way to the bus stop.

I know that I am doing this because it is something I would avoid in my normal mommy life, so I'm taking advantage of these two weeks of relative liberation to gorge myself on junk food. Bizarre, but still enjoyable.

Toddler Rehab

Thumper has developed some really bad habits this summer. I'm embarrassed to admit that she is asking for TV and sweets all the time. Well, not all the time, but it seems like it to me. I want her to understand that she has a Montessori Mommy and, therefore, is not going to be allowed to watch TV in large quantities--or consume ice cream for breakfast, cookies for snacks and chocolate chips. She just isn't buying it, and boy is she persistent.

Unfortunately, she is often asking for TV as soon as we walk through the family room each morning on out way to kitchen where she asks for ice cream for breakfast. During the day, when she asks for TV, I usually swoop her out to the yard where we are now being consumed almost whole by the mosquitos. That strategy is not so pleasant anymore. It's so hard when I am preparing good, nutritious food, and she repeatedly demands a cookie. It's such a contrast between my seven year old who has understood for what seems like forever that these are things that we indulge in in small quantities. I don't remember her asking for these items so frequently so I'm wondering what I've done wrong the second time around.

So, I am really looking forward to Thumper's entry into school. She will be attending a Montessori toddler program this fall. I am delighted. In my head I have started calling it "toddler rehab" because she will enter this new environment that she doesn't associate with ice cream cones or Mr. Rogers. Not only that, but her classroom will be full of activities selected just for her age group, her stage of development. The countdown has begun.

A New School

So now that the decision has been made, now comes the anxiety of the decided unknown. I am nervous because I don't know much about the school, its pedagogy or any of its staff beyond the blurbs available here and there. With both of my daughter's other schools, I had previous affiliations and/or knowledge of the schools. I knew people. I knew of people. It was reassuring. Given my training and my network, I knew that I would learn more, discern more as time passed.

Here I feel like I'm going into this nearly blind, and I don't like it. I don't like it when Montessori Papa has anxieties similar to mine because that means that they must be valid. Eeks.

Then I see my daughter handling this with such grace. I am reassured and so proud of her. She has told us all summer that she did not want to leave her friends at her Montessori school. We have reassured her that this aversion was totally normal and that, of course, she would make new friends at her new school. She has been talking to me about various aspects of the public school and asking me questions. I've been pleased to be able to talk to her about the details and to answer her questions. I was most pleased, however, to hear her talk to my mother the other day on the phone while I was driving.

My mother asked her if she was excited about her new school. Inside I cringed a bit because I was thinking that maybe "excited" was a bit too much to ask of a seven year old who is leaving the most significant friends that she has known at her young age. She responded quickly and surely, "One. I am excited but a little bit nervous because I don't know what the school will be like. And two, I don't want to leave my friends at my old school, my best friends. Also, I like that in the Montessori school that the grades are together so that you can see the second grade work and the third grade work." Well, I thought, that is just about perfect. That's about everything that she should be feeling AND she can articulate it quite clearly.

In all of my fears about testing, lack of individualization, lack of peer interaction, and on and on. I am putting my trust in her.

The Decider

Finally, finally Montessori Papa and I have come to a decision about Booster's schooling for next year--it will be public school for her. It's come down to a combination of logistics and finances. I was wavering and wavering until the last minute. I would talk myself into one school and then immediately talk myself into the other. Both schools had benefits, and both schools had huge drawbacks. Thank God I am not the President of the United States because in these kinds of tough spots I am NOT a Decider.

The need to make this decision has been around for months and months. It has been driving me--the woman who loves to organize and plan, who does these things for the fun of it--absolutely insane. Montessori Papa is much more comfortable in the land of uncertainty than I am. I've been wanting to buy school supplies for heaven sakes. Let's make the decision and get cracking.

After we had talked our options over for probably the 117th time, I finally said, "That's it. I am going to pray about this really hard tonight, and hope for divine guidance." I am pleasantly surprised to say that I think I actually received some. That night, I woke up many time, sometimes because of my toddler's night terrors and sometime thanks to who-knows-what. I would wake up at those times and the thought of one of the schools would pop into my head. When the name of our neighborhood school popped into my head, I felt very calm. When the name of our Montessori school popped into my head, I felt very anxious. Sometimes I would think about the public school, and my inner voice would whine, "But I want the Montessori school." In spite of this, I still felt calm about the public school option.

The next day, Montessori Papa was still raring to go for the Montessori option. He was ready to get up at 5:30 every morning and take Booster to school. He was ready to have no financial wiggles room for yet another year. He was ready to test our mettle in running our household like boot camp in order to make sure that the children adhered every night to an early bed time. God bless him. I love him for his willingness to do this, but I just couldn't support it.

He was, well, I think he was shocked because I had been the one who had once said that I would sell my soul to give my children a Montessori education. It turns out that that is not true. Montessori Papa was not delighted with my new point of view. After all, how could he argue with divine guidance? He would argue his points, and I would concede that each one had value and merit. We just had been over each one so many times this spring and summer, I knew them all.

I am nervous about public school. Of course, I am worried about everything that I hear in the media about public education and No Child Left Behind. I am worried about the emphasis on test scores, because when I was in grad school the public school teachers talked A LOT about them. I am nervous that she is going from a school of about 100 kids to a school of around 800 kids. I am nervous because there is so much that I just don't know. In any Montessori school, I would know the basic pedagogy and curriculum.

So I am in a place now where I just need to trust, I just need to have faith that everything will work out for the best, that my daughter's education at school will be good, but more than that that I need to trust that the life education that she receives from her family life will be more than enough to fill in any blanks.

It's a Three Day Weekend so It's Time for DIY

As I post I'm listening to Montessori Papa work on his impromptu DIY project--refinishing one of our entrance doors. He was so excited by his purchase of a sander, that he had to jump right into the project right as we returned home yesterday at around 4 p.m. What he didn't calculate into his project estimations is two very curious little girls who want to know how to do everything.

He is a true Montessori Papa, so he was trying to show Booster how to do various parts of thereal work of the project and make Thumper feel somewhat included. He did lament last night how much time it took to incorporate both of them into the task, but here he is with Booster and Thumper at his side again this morning. Alas, that's the task of parents.

I'm always so pleased when he does this, as a mother of two little girls who had to learn about doing this kind of stuff as an adult. I know that my daughters will grow up to be such confident women because they will have a host of skills from being able to make a luscious guacamole to being able to refinish a door all taught to them by their very own father.

The Cost of a Good Education

My older daughter Booster finished first grade this year, and I have already spent more on her education than I spent on getting an undergraduate degree. It's shocking for me, a frugal midwesterner, to say this, to know that, in fact, it is true.

I'm a teacher, well, a Montessori guide, as some like to call what we do, and since I took the Montessori training, I dreamed, I expected, that my children would receive a Montessori education until at least fifth or sixth grade, hopefully longer. I take early childhood education very, very seriously, telling myself and my husband that we will invest in our kids while they are young and then trust that they will have the skills necessary to make a college education happen for themselves. I do not stress about how to pay for their college education and have spent more time worrying about the color to paint my daughter's bedroom than looking into college savings plans.

So when we decided that I would take a couple of years off for daughter number two, leaving behind a good job with tuition remission benefits, we decided to keep Booster in a Montessori program, a very reasonably priced program with a great reputation and beautiful campus. At the end of two years, I am not unhappy with this decision. I feel that she has benefited tremendously from the time she has spent at her school.

Fortunately, I have accepted a teaching position for next fall at a school with an intriguing program that begins at 3 months of age. Unfortunately, the school does not offer an elementary program. It might some day, but that day is a long, long time away. (I did receive an offer from a school with an elementary program this year. Unfortunately, while I was waiting for my interview, an assistant was screaming at the primary kids to shut up in the room next door. There were some other things about the school that did not mesh with my pedagogical views but I would have been more amenable to being flexible had it not been for the screaming assistant.)

So that now leaves us with a big question to answer. How much should we invest in Booster's education given the fact that we make a humble living doing what we both do? We live in an area where the schools are considered to be good ones. We just have a strong preference for the Montessori curriculum in a general sense, and now, Booster's teacher in a specific sense.

We mull over the pros and cons every few days trying to decide which course to take. Right now we have decided to take a break from the near constant discussion of this topic (while I consider to look for sign from the divine that will point us in the right direction).

True Confessions

I'm not as organized as I used to be. I used to be the type of person who could put my finger on any needed piece of paper in a matter of minutes, who went to bed with her living quarters neat and tidy, and who regularly rotated her older daughter's toys around. I'm not that person any more, and it is incredibly frustrating to me.

This is not to say that my life has descended into utter chaos. It's just not what it once was, and I liked how it once was. My clean laundry has been sitting for a couple of days in laundry baskets. I have lots I want to do in the garden that will not be getting done any time soon. I have lots of papers that remain unfiled, and worst of all for me, my children's toys are not in the showroom-type shape that they were when I had just one daughter, worked at home, and did not spend at least ten hours a week in the car. Also, I didn't have my adorable little Thumper AKA "The Tornado" because she likes to strew things about the house. Strangely, she doesn't tolerate her books, or most of her things, to be put away in her presence.

I try to tell her that she is supposed to be attracted to order, that's what the Montessorians say-- and she is in so many ways. For example, she doesn't really like buckles. However, now she has come to understand that buckles should be buckled; she insists on having buckles snapped on her stroller and in shopping carts even though I get the impression that she doesn't care for having that done. If she can tolerate that, what's wrong with a bookshelf, I want to know? Why can't she just leave her clean clothes in her dresser instead of taking them all the way into the kitchen to clean the floor with them?

This lack of my desired level of order is frustrating and guilt-inducing. When a person takes the Montessori training for the 3 to 6 year old crowd, the importance of order is nearly flogged into her on a daily basis. The child is drawn to it, it helps her to make sense of her world, it helps to act independently in her environment, and on and on. So not only am I annoying my own inclination to have smooth running household, I am potentially interfering with my younger daughter's development. How's that for mother-guilt?

So, I've invited my helpful Montessori Papa to undertake a decluttering adventure in our house. We really need to do a spring--or early summer, in our case--re-organization adventure. Unfortunately, we have to be a bit delayed due to realities in Montessori Papa's worklife, but I am looking forward to mid-June. :)

Abuzz with Technology

We Montessorians tend to be skeptical about technology in the early years of a child's life, so my older daughter Booster has had limited exposure. There has been TV, but not every day and with very controlled content. I grew up watching Saturday morning cartoons (and loving every minute of it, by the way). Not my daughter. She has grown up watching Mr. Rogers and ballet DVDs, including many versions of the Nutcracker. Currently she has been checking out a series of ancient cultures videos from the library because her class has been studying ancient Maya civilization. We taught her to have nerdy tastes, and I am so pleased about that.

Fortunately, my daughter hasn't been pushing for more. She enjoys what she watches. Quite honestly she scares easily, so she tends to shy away from Disney movies and the like. When my aunt sent her Peter Pan (and I hesitantly OKed watching it), she didn't make it too far. Captain Hook was just too scary.

So now we are at a new phase with the internet. At times, we have used the internet as an encyclopedia and an almanac. What do cardinals eat? What does a badger look like? What will the weather be like today? But now, she knows how to do it all by herself.

She is a big, no, I should say BIG Laura Ingalls Wilder fan. Recently, I found a good website that features all of the homesites of the Ingalls family, Frontier Girl. Booster was in heaven. She had figured out how to navigate from one spot in the site to another, to listen to the music, see the videos. She's found other items on youtube. She was on fire and had to reluctantly pulled away from the computer.

Yesterday, I caught her entertaining her sister with home video clips that are on my computer (No wonder they were so quiet!).

My little Montessori babies have entered the computer age.

The Quiet Moments

So the night has gone like this--dance class for me--my husband supervising shower/bath for the kids, Booster asleep in bed--dance class over for me--walk Thumper two rounds around the neighborhood until she falls asleep--come home to quiet house because my husband doesn't feel well and is asleep. Wow, everyone is asleep. Because my husband is a bit of a night owl, and Thumper sleeps in the car on our oh-so-long trek to pick Booster up from school, I almost never have a quiet moment in the house to myself. So what to do? (I guess I've chosen blogging for the moment.) I feel stress to choose the perfect way to relax. Should I choose a quiet activity like reading knowing that there will be no one to interrupt me, watch girly shows on the computer since my husband won't be there to make fun of me, eat mounds of ice cream since I don't have to worry about being a good example to my kids?

This is something I never had before having kids. I didn't feel anxious about my choice of relaxation, because I had a lot of time to myself. Frankly, I enjoyed that. On a Saturday I could easily pass from running errands, to going on a short hike, to reading, to taking a nap, to working on some little craft project, to meeting friends at a local eatery. I had many of those days when I could just do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

Those kinds of days are not a part of my life right now, and sometimes I do miss them. In fact, there are occasions when I chafe against the reality of my kid-saturated days. But I know that these days with my two little ones, 2 and 6, are numbered. These days when they really want to do activities with me, to lean against me, to read with me, to draw pictures together will seem unbelievably precious when they are older and occupied with their own interests and friends.

But even so, now I'm going to eat some cake, drink some tea and watch some girly TV just because I have these few quiet moments right now, and I can get away with it.

5 Things

Inspired by WhyMommy, here are five things that I love about being a mom. Of course, I could write more, but here are five simple reasons that I love it.

I love to share something with my daughters that they’ve never done, seen, or tasted before. The first time to see an artist’s painting, a mummy, a new fruit like a rambutan. It can be anything. I like to see their first reaction. It’s the teacher in me. I love to set up environments and situations where children are learning about the world.

I love to see my daughters rolling around like puppies together. They make me laugh with their sheer exuberance. Booster took to her younger sister and, in physical ways, I could say that we have raised Thumper like a puppy. She had to like all of the holding, tussling, kissing, and rolling around. It’s all she’s ever known.

I love seeing my husband interacting with our daughters. My father, while an intelligent and talented man, was never going to win any fatherhood contests. It is so heartwarming to know that that my daughters, who deserve the best as all children do, have an engaged, fun, and protective father.

Of course, I love that heartwarming time when one or both of my daughters sleeps cuddled up next to me—or on me. It’s hard to beat that for just wonderful, warm fuzziness.

I also love the contradictory feeling that comes after they have fallen asleep. Usually I am so intent on wanting them to fall asleep. I am tired. I am ready for a quieter, more self-centered time of day. But so many times after they are finally BOTH asleep. I will see a toy, a photo, or just have a thought of them—their smiles, their laughs, their curiosity, their expressions of their understanding of the world—and I will have a flash of wishing that they were awake again so that we could continue the fun. Then I remember how hard it can be to get them both asleep and I try to enjoy the quiet time, but I do it while missing them. Strange.

Where has the time gone?

I just realized that it has been over a month since I have posted to my fledgling blog. Well, if this is Montessori in Real Life, this has been my real life. We've had 6 social events hosted at my home in 5 weeks, plus a visit from my mother. So that's one fancy dinner party for people from the Friends of the Congo (I spent this one in my room because I was in the middle of a seemingly neverending sickness.), two birthday parties: Thumper's and my niece's, Easter dinner, and a huge celebration of the Indian festival of Holi (read 80-90 people huge), and a strategic planning session for my mother-in-law's nonprofit. As I mentioned, my mother also came to visit, and I am in the midst of a job search. Next year, back in the classroom I will be. All of these are good things, blessings really, and my house was clean all at one time so many times there. That was definitely good. Now, however, I am so tired. Trying to make a final job commitment and catch up on gardening projects. 

Yesterday was great. Thumper, Booster and I spent loads of time outside. Thumper, newly two, has limited interest in the gardening. We are trying to teach her not to rip the flowers off of our newly planted annuals. Fortunately, she is enjoying being outside. She allows Booster and I to get some real work done in small spurts. 

We spread grass seed yesterday (Booster thrilled to be using the grass spreader.), planted nasturtiums, weeded, and finished planting all of the annuals that we bought from the plant sale at Booster's school. Today I wanted to make so much progress. We have some more seeds soaking in water and ready to go into the ground but in has been really raining today. Not the occasional sprinkle of yesterday, but real rain falling steadily all day. I'm hoping for a break in the weather as I felt yesterday that we were on a roll. Today we are stuck inside cleaning the house just for our own pleasure and comfort. Booster and Thumper have been playing so nicely together in Booster's room while listening to Thumper's favorite, newly repaired CD--Toddler's Favorites.

Let's Garden!

The weather is finally turning nice enough to turn my attention to our garden. Booster was very excited when we picked out the lion's share of our seeds--picking out our old faithfuls (lettuce, radishes, nasturtiums) and choosing some new fantasy items (cantaloupes, squash, shade-loving flower mix). Now the big question this year will be--can we get Thumper to take an interested role in our garden this year? The last two years have been rough gardening wise for me because with a baby one year, a toddler last year, it's been hard to give my garden even a basic amount of attention.

Yesterday, I took Thumper out to the garden. She did dig in a pot for a couple of minutes and enthusiastically tried to weed (unfortunately, she was trying to pull out some volunteer lettuce that has shown up in our garden).

It will be interesting to see how the spring time gardening goes with her. I'll keep you posted.

A Word or Two About Cloth

I just would like to say a word or two about cloth because this is something that so many people have asked me about in the past. This is a word of encouragement for those thinking about using cloth diapers. Using cloth diapers is really no big deal. Once you have decided to have them in your house, taking care of them is no big problem. You have kids, you need to do laundry all the time. You will need to do one extra load every two days.

It's easy to go online and read about lots of different theories about how to store them--wet or dry--how to wash them, etc. It did make my head swim a bit, then with each child, I just decided to do the easiest thing that I could do. I bought a diaper pail, with Thumper I even bought two fancy diaper pail liners, then every two days I would dump the entire contents of the diaper pail into the washing machine, add an appropriate soap (All the experts seem to agree that the soap you decide to use really counts. This last time I ordered Charlie's Soap online and had it mailed right to my door.) then washed on hot. I'm sure many would say that there are better, more elaborate ways to wash diapers but my diapers never smelled and seemed to be reasonably absorbent.

My brother is seven years younger than I am, and I remember my mother taking care of his diapers. My mother is not the most domestic person in the world. I figured that if she could handle it, then I could, too.

I should say that for my older daughter I was given a set of diapers by my sister-in-law who did not end up using them. She did give me a great piece of advice, however, suggesting that if one wants to use cloth diapers it would be wise to get a diaper service for the first few months. I did this with both of my kids and did not regret the expense with either one. I loved having the diaper fairy come every week before I was ready to get myself together enough to wash them myself.

For my younger daughter, I needed to buy diapers. When I saw the sheer number of choices out there, I nearly didn't go through with cloth. I was saved by the Jillian's Drawers website (www.jilliansdrawers.com) which presented all the options in a way that I could understand.

Turns out I had more than just a word or two to say, I guess.

While Mommy Rehabilitates, Toddler Urinates

The last two weeks I have been sick. During the second day of my illness, Thumper started making use of the potty all by herself without any suggestion from me at all. I was feverish and trying to keep an eye on her. She felt free to do as she wanted, more or less. When she passed five times on the potty that day, I lost count.

I was cautiously optimistic that we had entered a new phase. I am so pleased that, now over a week later, it seems that we have. When we are home these days, she uses the potty 80-90 percent of the time. It helps that she tends to strip while we are at home (Sometimes you have to curse that Montessori kids can be perhaps a little too independent.) I tend to be cautious about getting too excited about things like this because one never knows how things will develop. I don't want to jinx her progress, and I don't want to become too proud. I have been hopeful that we would come to a point like this and have been planning since she was born.for her to move towards "toilet independence" as Montessorians like to refer to potty training at an earlier age.

We started her out in cloth diapers and never left her in wet diapers as some parents will do with disposable diapers. She came to instantly indicate that she wanted a clean diaper. (I don't think that is essential that babies start out in cloth diapers, but it is essential that babies never get used to being wet. It's important to preserve the idea that being wet equals being uncomfortable.)

When Thumper was around one, she started to get very fidgety while putting on the two-part cloth diapers that we had bought for her. It became a real hassle to put them on her. At that time, I bought her some training underwear which we used at home and disposable diapers which we use when we are out and about.

Montessorians say that children have a sensitive period to learning about potty issues between 12 to 18 months. I wanted to make the most of this so I would show her how I used the toilet and so would her older sister. We brought out Booster's old potty and started to let Thumper sit on it. Sometimes she liked to sit on the potty, and I would hope that just by chance she would pee in it. Sometimes she didn't want to sit in the potty, and I never, ever forced the issue. This, I think, is a key part in her starting to happily use the potty at home at 23 months.

Now we just have to tackle public toilets. . .

Sweet Slumber

Whenever I have a child in my class that exhibits consistently challenging or distracted behavior, I always suggest that the parents look first to diet and sleep. In our busy culture, these two things can be easy to let slide. Here's a good article from the New York Times looking at sleep.

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/10/health/10klas.html

Conserving a Sense of Security

Off to the zoo we went today for a day of special activities designed to show the inner workings of the zoo and the secrets of its charges. It reminded me how challenging it is to give young children (those under the age of six) a sense of the need for stewardship of our natural resources without instilling a sense of fear and anxiety. At libraries and book stores, I see so many well intentioned books about environmental damage and animals on the brink of extinction that, to my mind, can only create a sense of anxiety and confusion for young children.

Young children need to be given the sense that the world is there, nature is there, taking care of them. This is not to say that we shouldn't instruct our children in the ways of responsible habits like recycling, caring for animals, both domestic and wild, and purchasing and using less gas and consumer goods. What I am saying is that we should avoid the doomsday-type scenarios. Simple, common sense explanations can accompany instructions concerning the habits we wish our young children to take in. For example, we can our children that we ride our bikes sometimes to avoid making more pollution. Too much pollution can make the world too dirty. We don't have to discuss global warming and its potential dire consequences.

Then, slowly, as children grow older, we can start introducing some of the uglier realities of our world. Animals have gone extinct due to human intervention in the natural world. Natural areas have been damaged to seek our natural resources that we have used. The air is being polluted due to our need for energy. Along with this kind of education should come a discussion of what we can do to clean up our messes and be more responsible as a community in the future.

What we need to start with is love and wonder. Like Thumper felt today as she mooed with the cows and roared at the lions today and as Booster felt as she watched a Burmese python ingest a whole rabbit.

Pregnancy Info

I have taken the plunge into amateur blogging, but I know a real reporter who has taken on helping pregnant women out with informative podcasts and blogging updates on current news in the world of the expectant. If you are pregnant or know someone pregnant, pass on the knowledge of these well produced podcasts. So check out www.peainthepodcast.com. If you want to find me, I'm on labor alternatives. You can listen as I explain how much I loved having a doula with me when Booster was born.

Sing, Sing a Song

I listen to Thumper trying to sing to herself. All her not-yet-two self can bring together from "Baby Beluga" is “baby” which she repeatedly sings as she looks lovingly at the book featuring Raffi’s classic song. She loves music. She responds to it automatically whether a CD is started at home, we encounter some piped in store music or, like yesterday, we hear a pulsing bass rhythm from someone else’s car.

Sadly, we’ve become a culture that doesn’t make music at home much anymore. I’ve known so many parents who won’t sing to their kids because they fear they don’t have good voices. Why should that be a barrier? I have heard stories to the contrary, but for the most part, young children do not care. They love you. The sound of your voice is generally one of the most comforting sounds in the world to them. So try to sing in a soprano voice and be consistent. It’s all you need to do.

Some parents have given me the excuse that they can’t remember any children’s songs. Libraries are full of CD’s with classic kids songs. It won’t take many playings before you will be gleefully reliving your younger years singing “Michael Row Your Boat Ashore” or “Mary Had a Little Lamb”. I suggest starting with Raffi. He’s heartwarming, generally soothing, and to my ear not at all obnoxious.

Music is wonderful in and of itself, but it is also an extremely important tool for language acquisition and comprehension. Sing today. Don’t wait. Don’t worry about how you sound.

Throwing Stones

Since my last post, I've been thinking even more about children in nature. I took Richard Louv's book Last Child in the Woods off the bookshelf and skimmed feeling my resolve to spend more time outside build as he talked about the dearth of outdoor play opportunities for modern children. 

Living near the infamous beltway, nature does not seem to be as easily accessible as in our our former home in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains, but for kids, it doesn't lack for things to do culturally or naturally. I realize that this winter I've been a bit reluctant to get outside with my younger daughter. It's easy to get in the trap of running errands and putzing around inside while it's cold out. 

With that in mind, I took my younger daughter down to the park today while Booster was in dance class. Thumper loves the swings and is curious about other parts of the playground but, frankly, it's set up for much older kids so she has a hard time climbing around on the equipment. I appreciate playgrounds for what they are, but I do tend to find them somewhat limiting as a place to return to again and again so I decided to take her down to the creek. 

Once there, I wondered why I'd been so hesitant to take her there. Poor thing, I had to teach her how to throw rocks in the water which she thought was great fun. She only interrupted this pursuit to watch the Canada Geese fly overhead. 

Snow Day

A snow day is a great sort of day to start a long delayed venture, so after sledding twice, I sit down to begin this blog, a way to examine my experience of parenting and how it has been influenced by the intensity of my training as a Montessori teacher. I also hope that this will be a way to share some of what I've learned as a teacher and a mom. I'm often asked for good books, good toys and the like, that I hope I can record some of the advice I've given along the way all in one place.

Today I have enjoyed being outdoors with my children as cold as it was. For my older daughter, I know that most days she spends at least a half an hour outside each day, either playing or during PE. But for both of my children, I need to make a greater effort to make sure that they spend at least an hour outside each day. I very much agree with the National Wildlife Federation (among many other organizations, educators and researchers) that spending time outside is invaluable for every child (and adult for that matter). It helps us to concentrate, connects us with ourselves and, research has shown, makes us more emotionally resilient. What a bonus for something that it fun, too. If you're interested, check out www. greenhour.org for more information about the National Wildlife Federation's Green Hour campaign.