True Confessions

I'm not as organized as I used to be. I used to be the type of person who could put my finger on any needed piece of paper in a matter of minutes, who went to bed with her living quarters neat and tidy, and who regularly rotated her older daughter's toys around. I'm not that person any more, and it is incredibly frustrating to me.

This is not to say that my life has descended into utter chaos. It's just not what it once was, and I liked how it once was. My clean laundry has been sitting for a couple of days in laundry baskets. I have lots I want to do in the garden that will not be getting done any time soon. I have lots of papers that remain unfiled, and worst of all for me, my children's toys are not in the showroom-type shape that they were when I had just one daughter, worked at home, and did not spend at least ten hours a week in the car. Also, I didn't have my adorable little Thumper AKA "The Tornado" because she likes to strew things about the house. Strangely, she doesn't tolerate her books, or most of her things, to be put away in her presence.

I try to tell her that she is supposed to be attracted to order, that's what the Montessorians say-- and she is in so many ways. For example, she doesn't really like buckles. However, now she has come to understand that buckles should be buckled; she insists on having buckles snapped on her stroller and in shopping carts even though I get the impression that she doesn't care for having that done. If she can tolerate that, what's wrong with a bookshelf, I want to know? Why can't she just leave her clean clothes in her dresser instead of taking them all the way into the kitchen to clean the floor with them?

This lack of my desired level of order is frustrating and guilt-inducing. When a person takes the Montessori training for the 3 to 6 year old crowd, the importance of order is nearly flogged into her on a daily basis. The child is drawn to it, it helps her to make sense of her world, it helps to act independently in her environment, and on and on. So not only am I annoying my own inclination to have smooth running household, I am potentially interfering with my younger daughter's development. How's that for mother-guilt?

So, I've invited my helpful Montessori Papa to undertake a decluttering adventure in our house. We really need to do a spring--or early summer, in our case--re-organization adventure. Unfortunately, we have to be a bit delayed due to realities in Montessori Papa's worklife, but I am looking forward to mid-June. :)