True Confessions

I'm not as organized as I used to be. I used to be the type of person who could put my finger on any needed piece of paper in a matter of minutes, who went to bed with her living quarters neat and tidy, and who regularly rotated her older daughter's toys around. I'm not that person any more, and it is incredibly frustrating to me.

This is not to say that my life has descended into utter chaos. It's just not what it once was, and I liked how it once was. My clean laundry has been sitting for a couple of days in laundry baskets. I have lots I want to do in the garden that will not be getting done any time soon. I have lots of papers that remain unfiled, and worst of all for me, my children's toys are not in the showroom-type shape that they were when I had just one daughter, worked at home, and did not spend at least ten hours a week in the car. Also, I didn't have my adorable little Thumper AKA "The Tornado" because she likes to strew things about the house. Strangely, she doesn't tolerate her books, or most of her things, to be put away in her presence.

I try to tell her that she is supposed to be attracted to order, that's what the Montessorians say-- and she is in so many ways. For example, she doesn't really like buckles. However, now she has come to understand that buckles should be buckled; she insists on having buckles snapped on her stroller and in shopping carts even though I get the impression that she doesn't care for having that done. If she can tolerate that, what's wrong with a bookshelf, I want to know? Why can't she just leave her clean clothes in her dresser instead of taking them all the way into the kitchen to clean the floor with them?

This lack of my desired level of order is frustrating and guilt-inducing. When a person takes the Montessori training for the 3 to 6 year old crowd, the importance of order is nearly flogged into her on a daily basis. The child is drawn to it, it helps her to make sense of her world, it helps to act independently in her environment, and on and on. So not only am I annoying my own inclination to have smooth running household, I am potentially interfering with my younger daughter's development. How's that for mother-guilt?

So, I've invited my helpful Montessori Papa to undertake a decluttering adventure in our house. We really need to do a spring--or early summer, in our case--re-organization adventure. Unfortunately, we have to be a bit delayed due to realities in Montessori Papa's worklife, but I am looking forward to mid-June. :)

Abuzz with Technology

We Montessorians tend to be skeptical about technology in the early years of a child's life, so my older daughter Booster has had limited exposure. There has been TV, but not every day and with very controlled content. I grew up watching Saturday morning cartoons (and loving every minute of it, by the way). Not my daughter. She has grown up watching Mr. Rogers and ballet DVDs, including many versions of the Nutcracker. Currently she has been checking out a series of ancient cultures videos from the library because her class has been studying ancient Maya civilization. We taught her to have nerdy tastes, and I am so pleased about that.

Fortunately, my daughter hasn't been pushing for more. She enjoys what she watches. Quite honestly she scares easily, so she tends to shy away from Disney movies and the like. When my aunt sent her Peter Pan (and I hesitantly OKed watching it), she didn't make it too far. Captain Hook was just too scary.

So now we are at a new phase with the internet. At times, we have used the internet as an encyclopedia and an almanac. What do cardinals eat? What does a badger look like? What will the weather be like today? But now, she knows how to do it all by herself.

She is a big, no, I should say BIG Laura Ingalls Wilder fan. Recently, I found a good website that features all of the homesites of the Ingalls family, Frontier Girl. Booster was in heaven. She had figured out how to navigate from one spot in the site to another, to listen to the music, see the videos. She's found other items on youtube. She was on fire and had to reluctantly pulled away from the computer.

Yesterday, I caught her entertaining her sister with home video clips that are on my computer (No wonder they were so quiet!).

My little Montessori babies have entered the computer age.

The Quiet Moments

So the night has gone like this--dance class for me--my husband supervising shower/bath for the kids, Booster asleep in bed--dance class over for me--walk Thumper two rounds around the neighborhood until she falls asleep--come home to quiet house because my husband doesn't feel well and is asleep. Wow, everyone is asleep. Because my husband is a bit of a night owl, and Thumper sleeps in the car on our oh-so-long trek to pick Booster up from school, I almost never have a quiet moment in the house to myself. So what to do? (I guess I've chosen blogging for the moment.) I feel stress to choose the perfect way to relax. Should I choose a quiet activity like reading knowing that there will be no one to interrupt me, watch girly shows on the computer since my husband won't be there to make fun of me, eat mounds of ice cream since I don't have to worry about being a good example to my kids?

This is something I never had before having kids. I didn't feel anxious about my choice of relaxation, because I had a lot of time to myself. Frankly, I enjoyed that. On a Saturday I could easily pass from running errands, to going on a short hike, to reading, to taking a nap, to working on some little craft project, to meeting friends at a local eatery. I had many of those days when I could just do whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted.

Those kinds of days are not a part of my life right now, and sometimes I do miss them. In fact, there are occasions when I chafe against the reality of my kid-saturated days. But I know that these days with my two little ones, 2 and 6, are numbered. These days when they really want to do activities with me, to lean against me, to read with me, to draw pictures together will seem unbelievably precious when they are older and occupied with their own interests and friends.

But even so, now I'm going to eat some cake, drink some tea and watch some girly TV just because I have these few quiet moments right now, and I can get away with it.

5 Things

Inspired by WhyMommy, here are five things that I love about being a mom. Of course, I could write more, but here are five simple reasons that I love it.

I love to share something with my daughters that they’ve never done, seen, or tasted before. The first time to see an artist’s painting, a mummy, a new fruit like a rambutan. It can be anything. I like to see their first reaction. It’s the teacher in me. I love to set up environments and situations where children are learning about the world.

I love to see my daughters rolling around like puppies together. They make me laugh with their sheer exuberance. Booster took to her younger sister and, in physical ways, I could say that we have raised Thumper like a puppy. She had to like all of the holding, tussling, kissing, and rolling around. It’s all she’s ever known.

I love seeing my husband interacting with our daughters. My father, while an intelligent and talented man, was never going to win any fatherhood contests. It is so heartwarming to know that that my daughters, who deserve the best as all children do, have an engaged, fun, and protective father.

Of course, I love that heartwarming time when one or both of my daughters sleeps cuddled up next to me—or on me. It’s hard to beat that for just wonderful, warm fuzziness.

I also love the contradictory feeling that comes after they have fallen asleep. Usually I am so intent on wanting them to fall asleep. I am tired. I am ready for a quieter, more self-centered time of day. But so many times after they are finally BOTH asleep. I will see a toy, a photo, or just have a thought of them—their smiles, their laughs, their curiosity, their expressions of their understanding of the world—and I will have a flash of wishing that they were awake again so that we could continue the fun. Then I remember how hard it can be to get them both asleep and I try to enjoy the quiet time, but I do it while missing them. Strange.

Where has the time gone?

I just realized that it has been over a month since I have posted to my fledgling blog. Well, if this is Montessori in Real Life, this has been my real life. We've had 6 social events hosted at my home in 5 weeks, plus a visit from my mother. So that's one fancy dinner party for people from the Friends of the Congo (I spent this one in my room because I was in the middle of a seemingly neverending sickness.), two birthday parties: Thumper's and my niece's, Easter dinner, and a huge celebration of the Indian festival of Holi (read 80-90 people huge), and a strategic planning session for my mother-in-law's nonprofit. As I mentioned, my mother also came to visit, and I am in the midst of a job search. Next year, back in the classroom I will be. All of these are good things, blessings really, and my house was clean all at one time so many times there. That was definitely good. Now, however, I am so tired. Trying to make a final job commitment and catch up on gardening projects. 

Yesterday was great. Thumper, Booster and I spent loads of time outside. Thumper, newly two, has limited interest in the gardening. We are trying to teach her not to rip the flowers off of our newly planted annuals. Fortunately, she is enjoying being outside. She allows Booster and I to get some real work done in small spurts. 

We spread grass seed yesterday (Booster thrilled to be using the grass spreader.), planted nasturtiums, weeded, and finished planting all of the annuals that we bought from the plant sale at Booster's school. Today I wanted to make so much progress. We have some more seeds soaking in water and ready to go into the ground but in has been really raining today. Not the occasional sprinkle of yesterday, but real rain falling steadily all day. I'm hoping for a break in the weather as I felt yesterday that we were on a roll. Today we are stuck inside cleaning the house just for our own pleasure and comfort. Booster and Thumper have been playing so nicely together in Booster's room while listening to Thumper's favorite, newly repaired CD--Toddler's Favorites.